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a bazillion things on my mind.

I love this little thing going around the blogging world so I wanted to give it a go :)
I don't know why this pic, but it just makes me happy, and I could use a little extra of that in my life. 
Making: Mothers Day Cards :) (and smoothies, I have been living off of those)
Cooking: I wish I had time to cook more :(
Drinking: 80 oz of water a day. I have to pee constantly, and it is so annoying/so healthy.
Reading: HOPE ENGAGED. She writes so beautifully and her blog isn't superficial.
Wanting: To heal and love this body of mine. 
Looking: forward to Switzerland!! It is going to be a dream and I am soooooooo excited. 
Wishing: That I was able to be more vulnerable, and open up to people more. But it's really hard for me. 
Enjoying: Fresh Air
Liking: Someone who is far away from me. 
Wondering: What the rest of this year will bring. 
Loving: My mom. She is my biggest supporter. (and the best shopping partner there ever was)
Hoping: That I made the right choice, and that everything will work out. 
Marveling: At spring time. Our God created a pretty spectacular earth
Needing: My love. But that will have to wait 15 more months. (I sound needy)
Wearing: If it is comfortable I wear it. (elastic waist pants only, especially Lulus and workout clothes.)
Following: Actually unfollowing. I had to do a following cleanse. For my own sanity.
Noticing: That sometimes I let my phone be more important than the people around me. NEVER OK. (hence the unfollowing cleanse)
Knowing: There is a God who loves me. Sometimes that is the only thing I need. 
Thinking: I should probably go eat dinner.
Feeling: Very stressed, overwhelmed and Anxious for some reason. HASHIMOTOS does weird things to me and it makes me sad. 
Opening: Tay's letters. Nothing better. and packages from online shopping, those are fun too :)
Giggling: I don't want to sound negative, but I haven't giggled in a while. I have so much to be thankful for but all of my anxiety puts this cloud over me that makes me not as quick to laugh as usual. 

This is my version of opening up to all of you lovely readers right now. I want to write down my struggles and share them with you, but I have to really understand them before I do that. 
Hashimotos affects me much more than I thought. At first it was a whirlwind of years of stomach issues and feeling sick, and now it is me having daily anxiety attacks (I hate admitting that) and sleepless nights because I worry about everything and anything. I will be working with a doctor two times a week for 6 months to heal my body. I am very grateful that I found him or I don't know what I would have done. I have felt stress before, but never like this. This is taking it to a whole new level. 
Sorry if this seems like a post full of complaints. But I do have struggles. Just like everyone else.

I know things will work out. Heaven help me find it. I want to be back to my normal happy self.

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