7.29.2014 • cocolalla
I have been asked to not look just at the bad that has come from Hashimotos. I have been asked to look only at the good things. So here they are:
- I have learned to cook.
- I know so much more about the body, and how to take care of it. Especially mine.
- I am trying to retrain my brain that I eat the way I do because I love and respect my body, and that I am not actually deprived of the good foods I crave (chocolate), because my body is intaking such nutrient dense foods that are healing for me.
- I am learning that I am not my Hashimotos. And that one second I can be crying for no reason, or be completely anxious. It is not that I am crazy, I just have hormonal issues.
- I have learned that people really struggle. But majority of people hide it and put on a face. I don't want to put on a face. It is something I really do struggle with. I struggle to be happy and to love my body. I just want to be a real person. I want to connect with people on a real level. No faking it.
I have been in an all time low during this struggling time for me. I know what it feels like. Feeling totally hopeless and that this could be the way that I feel forever. But through the help of a few specialists, I am on the right track to getting back to my happy self. Someone that I have missed for a while.
I pray for a peaceful mind and a rest from anxiety and sadness. I also pray to change my mind that I can love my body, even though it seems like it is fighting against me most of the time with stomach aches, or worries. And to know that I am healthy, and for me, skinny isn't the goal. My health is the goal. When I can know that, I will know I am on the path to joy and peace.
I have a new goal as well. That is being more real and vulnerable with people. It is something that I struggle with, but there you have it. I struggle with body image and finding happiness. I have real problems. But I am overcoming it. Because I deserve it. And I deserve to be happy again soon. It is hard for me to open up on here, but why endure struggle if I can't help someone else on their way who is struggling as well? Everybody has hard things in their life. But not everyone will admit it. I just couldn't keep it in any longer.
So I have so many fun ideas. I am wanting to find some people to do some trade photography with. You know, pics for pics? :) If any of you are photographers and you're close to Park City or Salt Lake City, I would love to work with you!!!
I hope that you all have a great weekend!!! I will be with my beautiful friend Eliza tonight roaming around Park City. I can't wait!!
7.15.2014 • switzerland
|We went to the Letterpress museum which I absolutely loved.|
|The city of Lausanne|
|"The Dying Lion" Luzern|
I am so short on time, so pictures may be where it is at for the next little bit... I hope you don't mind!!
Thank you all for reading!
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